When I write, it inspires awe. I am gawked at like a creature in a zoo enclosure.
I smear my words and numbers like a 'schmear' of cream cheese, like what they say in my birthplace NYC, The Bronx.
"I didn't know you were left-handed." people would say.
I didn't know I was either, I want to answer back.
"You're writing with the wrong hand," some guy once told me, trying to be cute.
Well that's because you're talking from the wrong end, I thought. How about I slap you and you see if there's any difference?
But alas, I am not quick with the quips.
By the way, I want to badly ask:
what sorts of folks were you all hanging with that you can now be
prejudiced toward an entire hand-dominant group? Was it some cult? And
what was it named? Cult of the Sinister? A Cult of Lefties! Beware and
be afraid! *blows a raspberry while I do a left-hand thumbs down*
Folks learning I'm left-handed after an entire semester.
"I didn't know you were left-handed," sounded like an accusation.
"I've had bad experiences with lefties."
Huh? I thought.
Later, I guess you thought I was Sinister.
Ha ha. Left-hand joke. Sinister from the Latin means "left-handed" as
Dexter means "right-handed". Told you I'm not quick with those quips.
Catholic Liturgy at Barry University. A monk taught the course. He was young, funny, and I think he had orange-brown hair. He found out he and I were both Lefties. He made a joke about those on the right-hand of God will be deemed righteous. He said that meant me and him would be in trouble in the Last Days. I was the only one that laughed. The rest of the class was not amused.
"That isn't funny!" a right-handed classmate later told me.
"Yes, it was." I told her. "Lighten up."
And why were YOU offended, Righty? I should be the one.
History and human culture has often made lefties the butt of human prejudices and misunderstandings ever since the ancient Romans, with their high and obnoxious opinions of themselves, who not only helped to shape Western psychology, philosophy, politics, and culture, but made it wrong to use one's left hand. The handshake came from them and they made it wrong to use the left. They also changed the writing system so only the right don't smear, but right now, I can. Curse you, Ancient Romans! Curse you.
For thousands of years, lefties in different cultures were tortured and murdered. Hundreds of years made them pariahs across religions and faith systems. School authorities and families have forced children, and continue to do so in this day and age, to write the 'right way'. Now we know from studies that this hand-switching causes psychological damage and trauma. Bed-wetting becomes one of the frequent results. Nervousness. Severe cases of Social anxiety and Depression in some individuals.
Classmates in middle school told me in confidence that such abominations were done to them. How they lost certain abilities, skills, and even talents once they were 'made' to become like everybody else.
"I used to be able to draw like you, Carmen. Ever since I was made right-handed, I can't do it anymore." Or "I could make something because my left hand could do this certain thing. Now, no more." Their tone sad. Their voices wistful. Grief on their faces.
In recent memory, in recent times, and even when I tutored college
and grade-school students, the torment and torture continues.
Parents, caregivers, and guardians still forcing, involving binding the left hand to the side, behind the back, or even beating the 'offensive' hand.
I remember staying in Jamaica with relatives. I remember being in school when the nation still had corporal punishment. I remember a teacher watch me during drawing time and say with a note of irony, "You're left-handed."
"Yes, ma'am!" I said proudly and continued to draw a bird better than the rest of the class.
When I would get my hand paddled, those damn teachers made sure it was on my left hand.
So yes, Right-hander offended by the brother who made that joke in Left-hander solidarity. He knew I would get it. The rest of
you never will. Let us Lefties laugh at our pain because I can tell you,
we've shed plenty of tears.
Thank God for actual God-fearing parents who are highly educated with heaps of common sense. And especially for a mother who believes that being left-handed meant 'chosen for a special task by God'. But she also had a left-handed brother. My left-handed uncle(RIP) used to call me 'Left-handed Crab'. And I have a nibling who is left-handed and is multi-talented, gifted, and quite athletic.
And lefties have made many wins over history.
In sports. Left-handed baseball players were once highly-valued as rare players. "Southpaws" they were known. In prose, poetry, screenwriting, and other literary acts. The visual/graphic/performing arts.
Unfortunately, some notorious gunslingers in history also happened to be left-handed. Umm, you know what? You can have them. We lefties don't claim them.
We also have a holiday and a month! August 13th is Left-Hander's Day! And it began in 1976, my birth year!
So... A holiday just for people of my dominate hand? And as old as I am? I don't believe in coincidences.
There are also global organizations that sell merchandise catered for us. Yet still to this day, I can't use lefty scissors. And I hated left-handed desks back in Catholic school. I remember classmates trying to be kind to offer me those desks but by then, I felt like a freak and didn't use them. THANK YOU, A-HOLES THAT BULLIED ME FOR MY DOMINANT HAND BEING DIFFERENT.
And once, our penmanship teacher showed me a special way to hold my paper so I could write cursive as well as the rest. When the other kids laughed, she shut them down with a remark that I could do things they couldn't. First teacher to stand up for me and my left-handedness.
However, when I started college and worked as a notetaker, those left-handed desks became lifesavers!
*Judges chapter 20 in verse 16* My mother takes pride I'm a
lefty. She keeps bringing up Old Testament about how God
wanted the temple built and He divinely touched certain folk, making
them left-handed and talented. Each for specific jobs: Stone Mason,
bricklayer, artisan, etc.
"See? You can draw, write, tell stories. God always makes lefties have lots of talents." she told me.
My
sister, though not a lefty, laments that only our parents, Dad(RIP),
were the last to have good penmanship. However, I have made money
writing calligraphy into documents and certificates.
Therein lies another dilemma with us left-handed folks. We tend to create beautiful things but often, our personal handwriting is sort of trash.
Can't win them all.
